Another 17 tips for a holiday in a tent or caravan
Campers are confronted with a bunch of rules, but if you follow some tips, you can still have fun.
When making contact as well as when living out your own camping drive, tact is appropriate.
Many like erotic adventures on vacation – if you want to have fun, you should think of the noisy ears of tents.
The camping neighbor
“You shouldn’t get to know campsites!” If you are planning a tent holiday, you cannot avoid Loriot and his warning of campers, who are often merciless egotists or pushy rulers. Visible in his sketch “The Cossack Peak”, in which the married couple Hoppenstedt and Pröhl, who got to know each other at the campsite in Klagenfurt, fight hopelessly because of the inaccurate division of a dessert.
Loriot’s protagonists are exemplary for that special audience that can be found on every campsite: bivouacing adventurers, caravan owners who love rules, merciless streaking, those seeking tranquility, awning fetishists, camper vans, long-term campers, long-lasting grills, freedom-loving nudists – because interests, likes and dislikes clash Space on each other.
And if you are unlucky, your immediate neighbor is a picture book keeper like Mr. Hoppenstedt, who can get very uncomfortable when foreign tent pegs are thrown into the ground on “his” territory or if you steal the lemon cream balls from his plate. Sensitivity when making contact as well as when living out your own camping drive is therefore appropriate.
In the tent
Do you have the nomad gene, are spontaneous, uncomplicated, undemanding and want to spend the night as close to nature as possible? Then you are a born tent traveler. You love freedom, like to strap your backpack, sleeping bag, camping stove and “fabric villa” on your back and set up your tent somewhere up and down, the main thing is that the landscape is beautiful.
Rainy weather and insects are not a problem – it sounds great when the drops patter on the tent wall, doesn’t matter if it rains, it’s only natural when ants or ear pinchers stroll into the open tent. Or not? Then you should switch to more solid domiciles.
In the caravan
The caravan owner is often an enlightened tent holidaymaker, who has been hit by constant rain and ants at some point. He appreciates his “house on the hook” because it is waterproof and comfortable (with fitted kitchen, double bed and shower).
He likes to book his fixed parking space in advance, which is of course not a simple meadow, but a top facility with all the baffles, from the supermarket to the swimming pool to the cable connection for five dozen TV channels. A hotel is still out of the question for a caravan fan – this would run counter to his desire for freedom.
Is banned in most countries, for example in the usa or canada. Wild camping is tolerated in a few countries, please inform yourself beforehand.
In general, it helps to turn on common sense before simply setting up your tent somewhere. So: Avoid private property, walk a distance to hiking trails (hikers find wild campers mostly stupid), leave no garbage, no fire and no noise (wild animals also find stupid stupid).
The best area for nature boys is the Nordic countries. Everyone’s right applies here, which expressly allows roaming in the forest and fields, harvesting wild fruits and mushrooms and even setting up a tent, expressly also on private grounds.
However, nature reserves and national parks are taboo for campers – if you set up your night here without permission, you will be rightly punished.
The most spectacular campsite …
… is in China: a tent site, 1700 meters high on Laojun Mountain, only accessible on foot. Hundreds of tents are lined up on a roughly two meter wide hiking path along the rock edge directly above a precipice.
If you are not afraid of heights, you have the best panorama here, which is offered to campers around the world. There is no pool, toilets or house rules. That would also be too much to ask – the tent site only opens temporarily as part of a camping festival.
The House Rules
Campers tell at every opportunity how much they love freedom and independence. And deliberately ignore the fact that they are anything but free at a campsite. Because the house rules apply.
And it regulates meticulously what is allowed, but above all what is prohibited. Set up tents only between 9 a.m. and 9 p.m.! Waste separation mandatory! Only enter the washrooms with bathing shoes! The barrier closes at 10 p.m., after that no car comes onto the square! No toilet flush between 11 p.m. and 8 a.m. Ball games between tents and caravans prohibited!
If that’s too strict for you, you can either camp in your own garden or camp wildly and secretly in Wallachia, far from laws and inspectors.
The dress code
A campsite is not a catwalk, there are no clothing regulations. That is perfectly fine, but no license for textile embarrassments.
Casual does not automatically mean tasteless! So you can pinch the worn jogging pants, the neon-colored t-shirt or the white sock to the sandal.
And it is not an imposition for overweight campers to hide the beer belly under a wide shirt – the unashamed display of large bacon rinds is the real imposition. Otherwise, almost everything is allowed, from the airy summer party to the hoodie.
However, we do not recommend white jeans, or have you ever tried to remove grass and barbecue sauce stains with hand washing soap? And one thing please not: in the Adam’s costume, dig the pegs into the ground or grill naked sausages – unless you are on a nudist court.
The food intake
For many, camping without barbecuing is not camping. And that’s the problem – on some days, some places disappear in a mist of coal smoke and roasting fumes, there is a smell of grilled sausages everywhere, even where there is no grilling.
So what to do? For example, barbecuing with your neighbors, this saves coal and reduces smoke emissions. Or don’t grill and just prepare something fresh on the gas stove that goes beyond bag soup and canned ravioli.
Or just go to a nearby restaurant and try good regional cuisine. Campers are not automatically self-sufficient or food despise.
“Camping is a state in which people perceive their neglect as a success” – this questionable camper wisdom is emblazoned from time to time as a sticker on caravans and is unfortunately put into practice by some contemporaries.
But is poor personal hygiene really an expression of freedom? Is it a success to boycott the campsite toilet and instead secretly pee on the neighbour’s awning?
No. Washrooms are there for washing, even if you have to walk there for ten minutes in large squares, even if warm showering may cost two euros.
After all, the sanitary standards are pleasingly high in most European places. Which brings us back to Loriot, who has already addressed this fact in his “behavioral school”, in which Mr Blühmel first states: “The washrooms are separate at the campsite in Bolzano.” Ms. Kakowski replied: “My friend and I were at the last year at a campsite near Saarbrücken. It was very clean there! ”There is nothing to add.
When it gets dark…
… you should be prepared. In other words: a flashlight is part of the basic equipment of every camper. Professionals have a headlamp with them. Of course you can find all of this in our shop 😉
When it rains…
… you should also be prepared. So you have an alternative program up your sleeve to sit around in a clumsy tent or stale caravan. This can be an indoor pool, a museum, a castle or, if there are children, an indoor playground.
In case of constant rain: break off tents or hook up caravans and follow the sun.
For some time now, flagpoles with the German flag on them have been seen in front of caravans and tents. You can do it, but it doesn’t have to be. You don’t hang a flag in front of your hotel room door.
“The camper’s curse is rain – and a visit.” We have just dealt with point one, point two is clear. Nobody likes uninvited guests, especially on vacation, whether in the tent, in the caravan, in the hotel suite.
A surprise visit is particularly annoying. If you absolutely want to bring your camping relatives or acquaintances to the boil during the holidays, ask in advance whether you are welcome. If the answer is no, stick to it.
Motorhome and status symbol
A large yacht is good as a status symbol, but a camper is not. Even if some motorhome manufacturers have recently declared the country yachting a trend with eleven-meter sleds. What do you get from the envy of fellow human beings when you have to steer your house sweat-soaked on wheels over the Grossglockner Alpine Road with dozens of tight switchbacks and hardly find a parking space large enough for the bulky floor during your entire vacation?
An XXL mobile is recommended at most on the highway-wide country roads of North America. In Europe, less is more. Here you collect status points much more with a cult camper like a restored VW T1 or T2 – and you have driving fun on top of that.
Camping and luxury are not necessarily mutually exclusive. If you choose “glamping”. It is a combination of glamor and camping. Ideal for everyone for whom classic camping is too primitive and rustic closeness to nature is too exhausting.
Glamping accommodation is usually not yours; you rent it for a few days, like a hotel room. The selection is now great worldwide – it ranges from the safari tent with parquet flooring and solid furniture in South Africa to the Airlodge with wooden scaffolding, two floors and four-poster bed under the transparent tent roof on Lake Garda to the luxury teepee with fireplace and separate washroom with porcelain toilet in the USA.
Sex in the tent
Finally, Loriot has the floor again. In his “Kosakenzipfel” sketch, Ms. Hoppenstedt exposes Mr. Miller as “Camping-Casanova”, who “is after everything that has legs”. Well, erotic adventures on vacation are part of many, we don’t want to restrict Mr. Miller’s sexual freedom any more than that of other campers.
Potential camping Casanovas should be aware, however, that they are not alone in the wide corridor, but stand close together, tent wall to tent wall; one is neither undisturbed nor heard. Who is embarrassed should stay abstinent, hold back acoustically – or book a hotel.