In the evening in front of the crackling campfire, drink a beer in a cozy atmosphere, try out campfire games and chat together about exciting experiences.
The only thing missing is someone who can share a few suitable camping jokes!
Reason enough for us to find some funny camping jokes. We wish you a lot of fun and a few hearty laughs!
When detectives go on a camping holiday
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson are on a camping holiday. Suddenly, Dr. Watson rudely awakened by Sherlock Holmes in the middle of the night.
Holmes: “What do you see Dr. Watson? “
Watson: “I see stars in the clear night sky.”
Holmes: “And what is your conclusion?”
Watson: “With so many stars and planets, there is sure to be intelligent life out there.”
Holmes: “Nonsense Watson – our tent was just stolen from us!”
The happy camper marriage
A young woman strolls through the camping department in a department store, apparently searching.
The salesman approaches and asks her: “Can I help you, maybe you need a sleeping bag?”
The woman answers promptly: “Thank you, no! I’m already married to one! “
Big city dwellers camping
An inexperienced couple of campers from the big city constantly fights against mosquitos on their first camping holiday.
The next night, fireflies also visit them. Says the wife to her husband:
“Let’s get out of here, now the beasts are chasing us with flashlights!”
A friend asks the camper: “Have you already made plans for your camping trip?”
The camper replies: “I don’t need: My wife determines where, my boss determines when and my bank calculates how long.”
If a permanent camper meets his neighbor in front of the awning.
The camper asks his neighbor in horror: “Tell me how you look, black eye and big cheek !!! Where did you get that from? “
The woman replies close to tears: “From my husband.”
“Whaaaas? From your husband I thought he was on vacation. “
“Yes, I thought so too.”
A hot camper, who is a guest at a campsite for the first time, is at the reception. She waves to the male employee, smiles at him and when he stands in front of her, she strokes his beard seductively.
“Are you the operator?” She breathes gently and pats his cheek lovingly.
“No, I’m sorry,” stammered the man.
“Could you get it for me?” She asks gently, sliding one hand through his hair.
“Unfortunately no, he’s not there,” sighs the employee.
“Could you do something for me then?” She whispers and follows the line of his lips with her fingers. “I want to leave a message for the operator,” she says, slipping a finger into his mouth and gently sucking it.
“What is it about?” Asks the employee, trembling.
“Please let him know that there is no toilet paper, soap or towels in the ladies’ room, thank you!”
I recently found an ad in the newspaper:
“Exchange tent, only used once, for a stroller.”
A camper with a brand new liner comes to the Gotthard Tunnel.
When he arrived there, he discovered that his mobile home was unfortunately 3 cm too high.
He parks the camper on the hard shoulder and fetches tools. Because he is technically gifted, he grabs a ladder, hammer and chisel and begins to work the tunnel.
Some time later a Dutchman with a caravan stops and asks him what he is doing here. The motorhome driver explains that the tunnel is 3 cm too low.
“No problem,” says the caravan driver. “Just let some air out of your tires, then you can just get through.”
“What you do not say!” says the motorhome driver. “I know that you caravan drivers think we campers are pretty stupid. But I also see that it is missing above and not below! “
Delicious food at the farmer’s
Holger is back after his winter vacation. A friend asks him: “How was it during winter camping?”
Holger answers: “The skiing was great, the campsite belongs to a friendly farmer with a farm…. but the campsite restaurant, I tell you … “
“What about that?” Asks the friend.
“Four chickens perished on the first day. For days there was only chicken on the menu. Then a calf. That week there was only veal. Finally the farmer’s grandmother fell ill – I got scared and left! “
Briefly measured, part 2
Marlene and Heinrich go on vacation for the first time in their new alcove motorhome. The camper is 3.40 meters high.
In the mountains in front of a tunnel, Marlene suddenly yells out loud: “Watch out, the sign says you can only drive through with a maximum height of 3.20 meters!”
Heinrich replies: “So what, do you see a policeman here somewhere?”
The campsite operator to the departing guest: “Would you recommend us to your acquaintances and friends?”
Does the camper say snippet: “Yes, of course, I really enjoy doing it! Only at the moment do I get along well with everyone in my circle of acquaintances and don’t want to change that! “
What do sweets and a camper have in common?
As soon as they are there, they are already gone!
A backpacking couple is looking for a suitable environment in which to pitch their tent. Suddenly the woman says dreamily:
“Honey, this nature here just makes me speechless!”
The man replied without hesitation: “Perfect, we are camping right here now!”
Shock at the police check
The driver is stopped by a police car. “What happened to your taillights?” Asks one of the policemen during the inspection.
The driver gets out, goes around his car, turns pale and sinks to the ground like a pile of misery.
“Now don’t overdo it, good man,” laughs the policeman, “I just want to know what exactly happened to the taillight.”
“What concern of the damn taillights!” The driver yells in despair. “Where the hell did my trailer go?”
Two campers go on a camping holiday. They leave their campsite for a trip into the city.
After an hour, two thieves pass her tent and break in.
The campers took all valuables with them on their trip. The two thieves rummage through the campers’ stuff, but find nothing useful and get angry.
After the angry thieves left, the campers return to their tent tired. Startled by the fact that their tent has been ransacked, they find that nothing is missing. Even the cheap camera is still there.
They decide to continue their vacation for another two weeks.
On arrival at home, the photos from the camping holiday are developed, but then the shock!
On one of the first prints you can see one of the alleged thieves sticking the toothbrushes bristles first into his butt!
An old camper to his wife:
“Do you remember Elke when I had the serious accident with the team 50 years ago? Who was there? You, Elke!
When my company had to shut down and I was desperate … who was there?
When our caravan burned down 10 years ago and with a lot of luck I just crawled out, who was there? You!
Now I’m lying here on my deathbed and you, Elke, are with me again!
I have to tell you one more thing: You’re just bringing me bad luck! “
Two German and one Austrian couples sit together on a camping holiday at breakfast.
Says the first German to his wife: “Give me some sugar, my sugar mouse!”
The second German doesn’t want to be naked and says to his wife: “Give me the cream, please, my icing!”
The Austrian doesn’t want to look stupidly out of the laundry either, thinks and says happily to his wife:
“Give me the bacon, you pig!”
One camper friend to another:
“If I want to sneak into the motorhome late at night with a beer flag so that the woman doesn’t notice anything, she always stands behind the door with the pasta roll!”
The other camper replies:
“I approach it very differently than you do! I slam the camper door very loudly, sing in the bathroom and when I’m in bed I ask my wife what she thinks of a hot quickie. You don’t believe how sound my wife can sleep! “
Good hiding place
A camper gets his old motorhome out of his shed in spring and gets it ready for the upcoming season.
Full of anticipation, he pulls down the fold-down bed to place the bed linen there.
The camper screams in horror. There’s a human skeleton in his fold-down bed!
Question: Who was that?
Answer: The blonde who won the game of hide and seek!
Traffic control on a mountain road.
The officers stop a trailer team that is backing up the street. When asked where to go and why drive backwards, the driver answers:
“We want to go to the mountain restaurant, but have heard that there is no turning point!” To their astonishment, they are allowed to continue on the way.
An hour later the team comes down the road again, this time backwards too!
The team driver proudly explains to the police: “I still managed to turn up there!”
The Pfennigfuchser Konrad takes a test drive in a used mobile home.
He is enthusiastic and wants to know from the seller after signing the contract:
“Wow, the motorhome is really cheap. You certainly don’t deserve anything from me? “
The salesman beamed on both cheeks and said: “No, not yet, that’s true! But drive off now, then the repairs will come! “
A patient bystander
Two campers at the campsite pond.
“You’ve been watching me fishing for four hours now! That must be boring. Shall I show you how to do it? “
“Thank you, but I don’t have any patience!”
Grass for grandpa
Grandpa goes for a walk with the grandchildren on the beautiful campsite and enjoys nature.
Grandpa to the grandchildren: “Oh, just look at the beautiful, lush meadows and great trees. Nature is wonderful! ”He plucks a blade of grass and begins to chew on it thoughtfully.
One of the grandchildren looks at Grandpa full of anticipation and says: “Hey Grandpa, we’re getting a new mobile home!”
“How did you get the idea, you always have money problems!”
“Yes, but dad has been saying lately: if grandpa bites the grass, there’s a new mobile home!”
Question: Do you know the difference between an old camper and an old watch?
Answer: The camper stops more often!
A team with a caravan is checked for defects in the lighting system before departure.
The man is sitting in the cab, his wife is behind the caravan:
“Go, don’t go, go, don’t go, go …”
The main thing is relaxation
“This year I won’t be doing anything on my camping holiday! The first week I’ll only relax in my hammock. “
“Yes, okay. But what are you doing in the second week? “
“Then maybe, but just maybe, I’ll swing in it a little.”
Karl and Claudia are both married – but not to each other.
The two friends are surprised by a heavy storm on a camping mountain tour.
You can barely fight your way to a hut. Once there, they prepare for the cold overnight stay. At least they find blankets and a sleeping bag in an old box – but only a bed!
As a gentleman, Karl knows what is proper and says:
“Claudia, you sleep in bed. I’ll take the sleeping bag. “
Karl has just zipped up the sleeping bag and closed his eyes, when the sound comes from the bed:
“Karl, I’m cold!”
Karl crawls out of the sleeping bag, takes a blanket and spreads it lovingly over Claudia. Then he wraps himself in the sleeping bag for the second time and begins to drift into the realm of dreams. But then:
“Karl, I’m still cold.”
Karl frees himself from the sleeping bag, spreads a second blanket over Claudia and goes to sleep again. As soon as he has his eyes closed, she says:
“Karl, I’m still so cold.”
This time Karl gets really angry – he stays where he is and answers:
“Claudia, I have an idea. We are up here among us, what happens in the hut stays in the hut! We could just pretend we’re married to each other! “
Claudia replies with delight: “Oh yes, that would be wonderful!”
Then Karl yells:
“Then shut up your damned mouth and get your damned blanket yourself!”